iTunes Match seems another good way for Apple to keep the market sewn up. If only the “Man of the Century” were still alive to enjoy it.
Never In My Life
I’ve got it!
I’ve got it!: CRISPmas! It just came to me!
Really
22:00 on Really: “I Can’t Stop Masturbating: Russell is addicted to self-pleasure & attempts to kick his habit. Can he pull it off?” Really.
If only puns were deemed the measure of a man…
Pop illnesses:
The Strokes
Echobellyache
Flu Fighters
Manfred Mannflu
Oacystitis
Ingrown Jimmy Toenail
Midge Urinal Tract Infection
Hepatitis D:REAM
Robert Piles
BuliM.I.A.
Coldplay
Chris Diarrhea
Wycleft (Jean) Palate
Where are my slippers?
Slippers only have the ability to walk of their own volition in cartoons, right? Apropos, where are my slippers?
My day
Tube in had girls drinking champagne at 7am. Tube out had women relentlessly making jokes.
Day’s gone from Girls Go Wild to Smack The Pony.
Slippers only have the ability to walk of their own volition in cartoons, right? Apropos, where are my slippers?
Special One
@ternanagmes657 is following me on Twitter. She’s looking for “a guy to be intimate with and LOYAL.” Tweets 0 Following 471 Followers 0. I’m her special one.
Craig David’s sex week
When Craig David recapped his sex week in “Seven Days” he chilled on Sunday when, logistically, he had the most time for it. Bad planning.
Sunshi’ine
Anyone else always read the name of Islamic branch “Shi’ite” in a Liam Gallagher voice?
Daily Mail brings bad news
Daily Mail brings bad news:
Caroline Flack with a 17-year-old child of boyband Wand Erection
Your Bin Is On Fire
Bin lorry is playing “Sex On Fire” loudly while the binmen collect food waste. Husbands, be worried if you have a lonely housewife at home right now.
Just Chuckle Brothers Facts
The Chuckles’ other brothers played minstrels.
Their sister was married to Percy Sugden.
Jeremy Clarkson’s brother is writing their autobiography.
How to troll a dating website
Pissing myself at the one with the drill, the cross-eyed one, the fan blowing, and the choking dog!
20 favourite films
- Requiem for a Dream
- Airplane!
- Groundhog Day
- The Butterfly Effect
- The Naked Gun
- Wayne’s World 2
- A Clockwork Orange
- The Player
- This Is Spinal Tap
- Memento
- Good Will Hunting
- Catch Me If You Can
- Casino
- Capricorn One
- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
- Leaving Las Vegas
- Cemetery Junction
- Ghostbusters
- 24 Hour Party People
- Matchstick Men
Black Friday
So, it’s “Black Friday” but I’m not feeling any different, mon.
Least sexy tenner I’ve ever spent
Two bins, a plug hole blocker and a toilet brush just made for the least sexy tenner I’ve ever spent.
The first thing caught in my new plug hole blocker was my goz, just for good measure.
