The Internet In Black And White

Idea for a TV show: ChuckleFission. The Chuckle Brothers attempt to split the atom with hilarious mishaps along the way.

What a load of royal arse: “Kate Middleton shows she has not fallen behind in the bottom stakes against Pippa”

“King of Lights” on Ch4 is extraordinary. “A lot of people forget the traditional side” said the man with this display:

iTunes Match seems another good way for Apple to keep the market sewn up. If only the “Man of the Century” were still alive to enjoy it.

I’ve got it!: CRISPmas! It just came to me!

22:00 on Really: “I Can’t Stop Masturbating: Russell is addicted to self-pleasure & attempts to kick his habit. Can he pull it off?” Really.

Pop illnesses: The Strokes Echobellyache Flu Fighters Manfred Mannflu Oacystitis Ingrown Jimmy Toenail Midge Urinal Tract Infection Hepatitis D:REAM Robert Piles BuliM.I.A. Coldplay Chris Diarrhea Wycleft (Jean) Palate

Slippers only have the ability to walk of their own volition in cartoons, right? Apropos, where are my slippers?

Tube in had girls drinking champagne at 7am. Tube out had women relentlessly making jokes. Day’s gone from Girls Go Wild to Smack The Pony. Slippers only have the ability to walk of their own volition in cartoons, right? Apropos, where are my slippers?

Angry Britain: What’s making us increasingly cranky about our fellow citizens? And is there any cure for this modern malaise?

@ternanagmes657 is following me on Twitter. She’s looking for “a guy to be intimate with and LOYAL.” Tweets 0 Following 471 Followers 0. I’m her special one.

When Craig David recapped his sex week in “Seven Days” he chilled on Sunday when, logistically, he had the most time for it. Bad planning.

Anyone else always read the name of Islamic branch “Shi’ite” in a Liam Gallagher voice?

Daily Mail brings bad news: Caroline Flack with a 17-year-old child of boyband Wand Erection H&M fake ads

@TVP_Oxford Police in Oxford warn criminals who break into homes – they will be arrested: bit.ly/rFFSqi You heard.

Bin lorry is playing “Sex On Fire” loudly while the binmen collect food waste. Husbands, be worried if you have a lonely housewife at home right now.