The Internet In Black And White

If StrokeKate has actually suffered a stroke, couldn’t she just have a DIY stroke like when you sleep on your arm and it doesn’t wake up?

This just in: Placido Domingo’s head held upright by conductor’s baton: news.xinhuanet.com/english2010/photo/2011-09/22/c_131153926.htm

Idea for a TV show: “Curry Favour” Contestants have to flatter Indian chefs until they agree to cook for them.

Someone named StrokeKate (who wouldn’t?) follows me after I tweeted this: “Twitter is a “development” in communication similar to a stroke.”

4OD. Verb. To overdose on Channel 4 programmes streamed online. Usage: “Call 999, I think I’m 4ODing on repeats of Inside Nature’s Giants!”

I was put off by it starring Jack Whitehall, whose standup consists of having legs…that do more than just keep him upstanding!

Is ‘Fresh Meat’ worth 4ODing? It sounds like a concept with potential but that could very easily be executed badly.

The best sign of a company being professional and trustworthy is probably finding its website hosted on moonfruit.

Twitter is a “development” in communication similar to a stroke.

It’s “International Talk Like A Pirate Day.” Right, some idiot was put in charge and that’s what they came up with. It MUST be my turn next.

Anyone else find that new Fosters advert with Holly Valance just a bit crude? (Nothing to get excited about if you haven’t seen it.)

Do you think they’re a bunch of toff public schoolboys like pro rugby players? (Probably went to specialist schools.)

Look up Disabled Rugby on YouTube. It’s like monster trucks but with wheelchairs. I’ve applied for Paralympics tickets

Cheryl Cole is to visit Helmand Province. Really? “Fight For This Love” is what’s going to bring about peace in Afghanistan?

There’s a lot of dog shit around at the moment.

I saw this sign in a window: “Brazilian hair straightening £99″ I don’t really know what that is but I’m sure it’s not targetted at me.

“Say gosh, not god, or you distract him from helping the poor” “That’s nice nan, now put your clothes on & get out the wheelbarrow”-Lee Mack

I don’t think the sense that makes you go, “that’s a good one,” when you see a big shiny conker ever leaves you.

Is this the worst penalty ever? – video Did you notice the ref books him for nothing else than being shit? Pretty sure he’s making up his own rules.

David Walliams is suffering from sickness and diarrhoea. He has taken in two days’ worth of Thames Water. Well, what goes in must come out.