The Internet In Black And White

Idea for Edward ScissorHands sequel: Lisa LaptopLegs. I’ve found just the girl for the lead part: images.theage.com.au/2011/03/03/2212742/1_young_lady_laptop-172×115.gif

Michael Gove proposes teaching foreign languages from age five “Understanding a modern foreign language helps you understand English better. The process of becoming fluent in a foreign language reinforces your fluency and understanding of grammar, syntax, sentence structure, verbal precision. There is no one who is fluent in a foreign language who isn’t a masterful [...]

Is this chicken too sexy? PETA thinks so.

Idea for TV show: “Indian Summer” – Cricket, curry etc. in unseasonably warm weather. Planning production schedule would be a nightmare.

The sky currently looks Photoshopped.

Just saw an old man sorting through Lottery tickets whilst driving. Wasn’t there enough of a gambling element that he had to add extra risk?

The following events took place on Twitter between myself, Tom and Ross. They are chronicled here for probably no one’s amusement but our own. 1523467890 Free Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodle (unprepared) for my 90th follower! RT 1523467890 Now down to 88 followers 1523467890 Perhaps forgot to mention Pot Noodle is vintage: 1996, very good [...]

qxtc.livejournal.com/ @qxtc Adding your blog to my Reader! Good first post. I’ve been tweeting quite philosophical things today too.

“Designer of the Pringles tube, Fredric Baur, asked for his ashes to be buried in the famous container.” Once he popped… etc.

“you don’t need to license journalists… all you need to do is prosecute them under existing criminal statutes.” boingboing.net/2011/09/27/uk-labour-party-wants-journalism-licenses-will-prohibit-journalism-by-people-who-are-struck-off-the-register-of-licensed-journalists.html

Barbara Windsor calls Rihanna carry-on a ‘disgrace’ Could the Northern Irish farmer get Rihanna to cover up her mouth instead?

TalkSport presenter Sam Matterface accidentally sends public tweet about Natalie Sawyer’s ‘Boobies’ Who’d have thought that marriage with a Sky Sports News girl would be built on tits…

Formula for modern TV enjoyment: Watch a bit of non-comedy dross (eg. ‘Fresh Meat’). Get your laughs reading scornful blog comments.

Rapper Wretch 32 is so called after his original list of proposed monikers went down the kitchen sink waste disposal unit.

“Wretch 32 loses lyrics after dropping phone in the bath” I don’t know who or what Wretch 32 is but an audible “HAH!” came out at this.

If a sandwich isn’t of Scooby Doo proportions that make it difficult to fit in your mouth, it’s just missing the point.

Highs of 27°C are forecast this week. If I was a weatherman I would describe it as “suspiciously warm” for this time of year.

Watched the start of Fresh Meat. It was like all the shit additional characters from Peep Show and Super Hans without the funny.

Old Grey Whistle Test’s modernisation included adding a TV to the set tuned into Ceefax music page. Amazing. BBC4.

Alexa Toolbar’s hot page of the moment is “5 Foods That Can Trigger a Stroke” – Did the whole internet take my last tweet as a suggestion?