Favourite Simpsons episodes

The Simpsons at 500: what are your favourite episodes?

Challenge accepted:

19 – 6 Dead Putting Society Homer and Flanders put their sons against each other in the miniature golf tournament
22 – 9 Itchy & Scratchy & Marge Marge campaigns against the violence in Itchy & Scratchy
23 – 10 Bart Gets Hit by a Car First appearances of Lionel Hutz and Dr. Nick Riviera as Bart sues Burns for running him over
25 – 12 The Way We Was Set in 1974, Homer meets Marge for the first time and tries to take her to the prom
28 – 15 Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Homer finds his half brother (Danny DeVito), who gives him the chance to design a car for his company
32 – 19 Lisa’s Substitute Lisa falls for substitute teacher, Mr. Bergstrom (Dustin Hoffman). Bart runs for class president. “Mrs. Krabappel, you’re trying to seduce me.”
40 – 5 Homer Defined Homer accidentally prevents a nuclear disaster
45 – 10 Flaming Moe’s Moe steals Homer’s cocktail recipe
49 – 14 Lisa the Greek Homer bonds with Lisa over her ability to pick winning football bets
52 – 17 Homer at the Bat Burns brings in ringers to win the baseball game
59 – 24 Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? Homer’s brother invents a baby translator to recover his wealth
69 – 10 Lisa’s First Word Set against the 1984 Olympics, young Bart feels put out by the new baby, Lisa
70 – 11 Homer’s Triple Bypass Homer faces death after a heart attack
76 – 17 Last Exit to Springfield Homer leads the Power Plant workers on strike. “Dental plan! Lisa needs braces…”
78 – 19 The Front Bart and Lisa write episodes of Itchy and Scratchy
83 – 2 Cape Feare The Simpsons enter the witness protection programme but Sideshow Bob finds them
84 – 3 Homer Goes to College Homer has to gain a degree but treats it like Animal House
90 – 9 The Last Temptation of Homer Homer and new colleague Mindy fall for each other
103 – 22 Secrets of a Successful Marriage Homer shares personal secrets as a marriage guidance teacher. “Just eat the damn orange!”
107 – 4 Itchy & Scratchy Land The Simpsons visit the Itchy & Scratchy theme park
118 – 15 Homie the Clown Homer impersonates Krusty after graduating from his clown school
121 – 18 A Star Is Burns Springfield holds a film festival. Football in the groin!
124 – 21 The PTA Disbands The teachers go on strike over funding. “Oh, but the taxes! The finger thing means the taxes!”
127 – 24 Lemon of Troy Shelbyville steals Springfield’s lemon tree
135 – 7 King-Size Homer Homer purposely becomes obese to work from home “Sorry, your fingers are too fat for this phone. Mash the keypad to obtain a special dialing wand.”
137 – 9 Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming Sideshow Bob threatens to set off a bomb unless TV is switched off
140 – 12 Team Homer Homer, Apu, Moe and Otto play in a bowling league
152 – 24 Homerpalooza Homer becomes the freak attraction at a music festival. “Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.” “Homer Simpson, smiling politely.”
153 – 25 Summer of 4 Ft. 2 Lisa pretends to be cool to new friends on holiday
163 – 10 The Springfield Files Mulder and Scully investigate Homer’s alien-sighting
169 – 16 Brother from Another Series Sideshow Bob is being framed by his brother Cecil (Niles) for embezzlement
171 – 18 Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment Homer bootlegs booze during prohibition
191 – 13 The Joy of Sect Townsfolk are brainwashed by “The Movementarians.” Hoverbikes!
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Charity

I read this “Money Moral Dilemna”:

“I’ve emailed friends and family asking them to sponsor me for a very worthwhile charity. Some have replied and sponsored me but some haven’t replied or just said they can’t afford it. I know they have good jobs and spend on luxuries so I don’t believe them.”

This is one of my problems with the concept of charities: People don’t give according to their means. If all worthwhile causes were state funded out of taxes (why are medical research and help for the elderly and sheltering the homeless and feeding the starving paid for out of voluntary donations but other human needs – and non-needs – are funded by taxes?) they could get the appropriate funding paid for by everyone according to their ability instead of one-off donations of variable sizes whenever somebody goes for a run or sits in a tub of beans or the BBC newsreaders sing an ABBA medley on the TV. It would also reduce overheads that go into advertising including those bleeders on the high street being paid to get a direct debit out of you. (Of course this also relies on the competency and purity of the government to spend the money well and without waste, which is usually the problem, but why not sort out THAT part if we have an imperfect system either way?)

Best of 2011

Songs of 2011:
1. Who’s In Control – British Sea Power
2. Barnes’ Yard – The Rural Alberta Advantage
3. Get Away – Yuck
That’s Where You’re Wrong – Arctic Monkeys
Under Cover of Darkness – The Strokes
I Want You – Summer Camp
Girlfriend – Tribes
Blondie – The View
Maybe I Know – Alessi’s Ark
Money – The Drums

Gigs of 2011:
Special Needs – Proud Camden (15th February)
Dead Confederate/The Whigs – The Jericho Tavern, Oxford (22nd February)
Electric Soft Parade – Prince Albert, Brighton (23rd March)
The Rural Alberta Advantage/Secret Rivals –  The Jericho Tavern, Oxford (19th May)
Johnny Flynn – Truck Festival (22nd July)
Edwyn Collins – Truck Festival (23rd July)
Pulp – Brixton Academy (1st September)
Turin Brakes – O2 Academy, Oxford (8th November)
Shed Seven/Chris Helme – York Barbican (22nd December)
Also seen this year: The Bootleg Beatles, Warpaint, The Cribs, Frankie & The Heartstrings, Tellison, Stornoway, Mazes, Chapel Club, Tribes, Girls, Summer Camp, The Vaccines, Howler

Angry Britain

Angry Britain: What’s making us increasingly cranky about our fellow citizens? And is there any cure for this modern malaise?

Special One

@ternanagmes657 is following me on Twitter. She’s looking for “a guy to be intimate with and LOYAL.” Tweets 0 Following 471 Followers 0. I’m her special one.

Craig David’s sex week

When Craig David recapped his sex week in “Seven Days” he chilled on Sunday when, logistically, he had the most time for it. Bad planning.

Sunshi’ine

Anyone else always read the name of Islamic branch “Shi’ite” in a Liam Gallagher voice?

Daily Mail brings bad news

Daily Mail brings bad news:

Caroline Flack with a 17-year-old child of boyband Wand Erection

H&M fake ads

Fonejacker

Nice work, Lou

@TVP_Oxford Police in Oxford warn criminals who break into homes – they will be arrested: bit.ly/rFFSqi

You heard.

Your Bin Is On Fire

Bin lorry is playing “Sex On Fire” loudly while the binmen collect food waste. Husbands, be worried if you have a lonely housewife at home right now.

Just Chuckle Brothers Facts

The Chuckles’ other brothers played minstrels.

Their sister was married to Percy Sugden.

Jeremy Clarkson’s brother is writing their autobiography.

How to troll a dating website

How to troll a dating website

Pissing myself at the one with the drill, the cross-eyed one, the fan blowing, and the choking dog!

20 favourite films

  • Requiem for a Dream
  • Airplane!
  • Groundhog Day
  • The Butterfly Effect
  • The Naked Gun
  • Wayne’s World 2
  • A Clockwork Orange
  • The Player
  • This Is Spinal Tap
  • Memento
  • Good Will Hunting
  • Catch Me If You Can
  • Casino
  • Capricorn One
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  • Leaving Las Vegas
  • Cemetery Junction
  • Ghostbusters
  • 24 Hour Party People
  • Matchstick Men

Black Friday

So, it’s “Black Friday” but I’m not feeling any different, mon.

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Least sexy tenner I’ve ever spent

Two bins, a plug hole blocker and a toilet brush just made for the least sexy tenner I’ve ever spent.

The first thing caught in my new plug hole blocker was my goz, just for good measure.

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Who can tell?

Real casino action or models? Who can tell?

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Idea for TV show

Idea for TV show: At Death’s Door. Come Dine With Me but one contestant’s an ex-convict. Gamble to enjoy a sarcy dinner, guess wrong you die.

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Fact

The actor James Avery, who played ‘Uncle Phil’ in The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, also voiced ‘Shredder’ in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Fact.

Carbon Monoxide poisoning awareness

It’s Carbon Monoxide poisoning awareness week. Symptoms: Dizziness, Breathlessness, Loss of consciousness, Collapse. Wouldn’t you go to hospital ANYWAY?

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